What Happens When We Die? The Signs and Stages of Death
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What Happens When Die?
Death is often perceived as one of life’s great mysteries, but it is possible to know much more about the process of death than is generally recognized. Here is some of what I have learned about dying over the course of my repeated lifetimes.
Death is not only a moment in time but is also a lengthy process, a transitional stage between one form of being and another. Despite common misconceptions, death is not the end of existence, it is not always painful, and, in most cases, it is not an emergency.
The wisdom traditions of the East, particularly the Tibetan Buddhists, have been studying death for thousands of years and have much to teach us about the mechanics of the dying process. They begin with the idea that physical reality actually consists of three dimensions, not one. The physical is the grossest of the dimensions and is embedded in two more dimensions that are increasingly subtle and invisible to ordinary perception. The first of these is commonly referred to as the astral dimension and the second is known as the causal. We human beings, accordingly, have a body that corresponds to each of these dimensions and each body is identified with a mentality, or consciousness, that is associated with its respective dimension. The mind of the physical dimension, for example, is the ordinary consciousness that is associated with the physical senses.
Death is a complex, interdependent process in which these three bodies and minds disintegrate simultaneously. There are two parts to the process: an outer dissolution when the senses dissolve and an inner dissolution during which gross and subtle consciousness disentangles from the physical plane and changes into a different form. In order to understand the process of death, we need to understand how these bodies and minds are connected to each other during life.
From the moment of birth, the three bodies – the physical, the astral, and the causal – overlay and interpenetrate one another. The physical is the smallest of the three. The astral body is a bit bigger than the physical frame (and is what is ordinarily described as a person’s “aura”), and the causal is the largest, extending beyond the physical body in a surrounding oval. The astral body is said to contain all desire and the emotions and unconsciously determines much of our activity while we exist within ordinary human limits. It may be likened to the notion of spirit.
The causal body is identified with the Absolute. It is considered the highest part of our being and is similar to the Western concept of soul. The causal body is beyond the distinction of subject/object duality and is, accordingly, neither male nor female.
These three bodies are connected to one another through specific control centers known as the chakras. There are seven chakras located along a central channel that corresponds to the spinal cord of the physical body. In the physical realm, each chakra controls the physiological functioning of a certain biological system. In the astral realm each chakra is associated with a certain set of emotions, psychic tendencies, and non-sensory forms of perception/consciousness. In the causal realm, each is associated with increasingly unified experiences of reality. The chakras act as terminals for the interchange of energy between the three bodies. Acupuncture, for example, works on the subtle pathways of energy, known as meridians, that interface among the three.
During the process of death, the consciousness of each realm begins to loosen and unspool from the physical body through the agency of the chakras. As the physical form begins to shut down and stops functioning, the chakras begin to gather in and organize the gross and subtle energies of their respective dimensions in preparation for making the transition out of the body and the physical dimension. In a normal death, the physical body and consciousness disintegrate, but the astral and causal bodies and consciousness do not. They change, but they do not die.
When the body is in the final stages of dying, the astral and causal consciousnesses prepare to leave the body through whichever chakra is most associated with the person’s habitual pattern of attachment (their karma) and their disembodied spirit ends up spending a certain amount of time in a corresponding level of non-physical existence before taking on a new form. If a person is obsessed with sex, for example, they will leave their body through the swadhisthana, or second, chakra, which governs the urogenital functions, and then pass through a chaotic realm riddled with erotic entanglement. If they are intensely greedy, they will leave through the manipura, or third, chakra, which governs the digestive functions, and then pass through a hellish realm where the desire for food can never be satisfied. The realms associated with the higher chakras, on the other hand, are similar to the common conceptions of heaven.
In the Buddhist traditions, end-of-life caregiving is explicitly focused on practices that encourage the dying person to move towards the highest dimension available to them in accordance with their karma. Examples of these practices abound in all traditional religions. The last rites in Catholicism, the recitation of the Shema in the last moments before death in Judaism and chanting the name of Buddha Amitabha in Pure Land Buddhism are all meant to elicit thoughts of the higher spiritual dimensions in order to guide the departing soul in that direction.
End-of-Life Signs and Caregiving*
In the final stages of living, when life-sustaining systems are beginning to shut down, there are a number of observable signs. These end-of-life signs are not medical emergencies but are expected and don’t mean that the person is suffering. In fact, most people are often unaware of these changes. I remember the hospice doctor saying to my father, “Mr. Brown, your wife is not dying because she is not eating, she is not eating because she is dying.”
As a person begins to die, they enter what is known as “pre-active dying.” This stage usually lasts about 3 weeks. The person tends to withdraw more into themselves and to spend most, if not all, of their time in bed. They gradually lose interest in eating and drinking. A common sign that the dying process has begun is a change in the breathing pattern: the exhalation (out-breath) becomes longer than the inhalation (in-breath), even weeks before actual death.
As the process continues, the person eventually enters the stage of “active-dying,” which ordinarily lasts 3 to 5 days. Signs appear that indicate the organs have begun to finally shut down. As the kidneys stop working, for example, there is less urine output and, as the skin takes on more elimination work, sweating increases. The person may experience itching and the skin may feel clammy and damp to the touch or look bluish.
At this point, many people slip into unconsciousness. During this stage the person may experience the feeling that they are being buried under a great weight, are unable to breathe, and may have disturbing thoughts, hallucinations, and nightmares. They may exhibit random jerks or twitches. After controlling for pain and other symptoms of discomfort, try to calm and reassure them. One can distract the person’s mind away from the disturbing thought or nightmare, even if the person is unconscious, by verbally describing a place or experience special to them. Giving the person assurance that it is OK ‘to let go’ could address a problem that the person is unable to articulate.
At this point the breath will become irregular, unusually slow or unusually fast or a combination of both and may become noisy (producing a rattling sound) due to mucus collecting in the throat. The feet and hands grow cold. Closer to death, the breathing involves the whole rib cage and is shallow and quick, and then pauses before the next in-breath. This period may continue for a few days, hours or minutes before the person actually stops breathing, but rarely does a person improve from this stage.
The signs that a person is about to die are that the eyes take on a glassy fixed stare with large pupils, the skin turns a pasty grey, especially on the lips, hands and feet, breathing is though the mouth with the jaw open, and the person is unresponsive to voice or pain. At this point, Buddhists offer prayers and guidance, often whispering gently in the person’s ear, to encourage them to move their consciousness upwards. In a positive death, the subtle energies that have coalesced in the chakras rise up though the central channel in the spine to gather within one of the higher chakras (such as the heart or brow chakra) and then move from there into a correspondingly elevated level of existence. In the best death the person is able to eject his or her consciousness from the crown chakra at the top of their head (known as phowa) and ascend immediately to the higher dimensions of existence.
After a person is clinically dead, Buddhism advises allowing the death process to proceed undisturbed by not touching the body until all the heat has left (indicating that the most subtle consciousness has left the body). This usually takes about 3 days. During this period, in which the being is transitioning to the other side, it is particularly important to avoid anything that might disturb or anger the departed, such as wailing, arguing, crying, or rough handling of the body.
Surround them with an environment of peace and tranquility.
*Adapted from the Amitabha Hospice Service, www.amitabhahospice.org, and the Visiting Nurse Service of New York, www.vnsny.org.
